You are a south Indian if…

You encourage your children to call the neighborhood girl ‘akka’ (big sister) or the boy ‘anna’ (big brother)
You say that people at the work place are one big family (and cut the cake on their birthday, and sing “Happy birthday to you” out of tune)
You let your children sleep in your bed until they are 12 or even above.
You believe in Shirdi Saibaba and don’t know (or argue against) the fact that he was a muslim mendicant
You care for your parents more than for your progeny, even at the age of 40
You pay for your children’s education until they get a job – even until they are 30+ (and encourage them to learn all manner of software languages, past, present, and future)
Your first sexperience is with your wife or husband; or, you get hitched to the person you first have sex with ever in your life.
You allow your children to get on facebook on condition that they share their password with you
You believe that money given to your sisters will come back to you ten fold from some other sources
You are convinced that Vivekananda was a Malayalee
You believe in Nadi Jatakam and what they tell you about what you were in the previous life
You sit and drink with your buddies while the wives are huddled in a corner, starving
You collect milk packets and sell them once in a month; and, before putting them away, you wash them and pour that water into the milk, to get the last drop of milk out of the packet
Your furniture and car seats have the plastic cover in which they come, even several years after you bought them
You empty the drops of tea from the saucer into the cup – in Irani cafes
You believe that people speak Hindi in Hyderabad
You celebrate Ganesh Immersion with greater gusto than Vinayaka Chaturdhi
You bring in what is published in the Hindu as conclusive evidence for your argument
You carefully unwrap gift packages and fold them up and keep aside for ‘later use’ and you keep the cardboard cartons in which television or the fridge come in the attic
You say you are driving when you are actually riding a scooter or a bike.
You vote for the guy from your state on Indian Idol
You believe that Bruce Lee’s favorite breakfast is Idlee
You tie a meal (thali) around the neck of the bride during the marriage rites