The wretched of the earth...

The Aliens Are Here…

Fifteen years ago, I went to Qutb Institutional Area in Delhi to ask for a job with Down To Earth, a publication of the Center for Science and Environment. They asked me how much I was earning: when I mentioned my paltry salary with Tata Consultancy Services as a technical writer, they said – Look, we can’t afford you; get lost. Oh well, that was a sad thing, because even for a low salary, I would have loved to work for a ‘serious’ organization like CSE, than be a hack in the software industry. That is what I have been for nearly 14 years, before I got into teaching. About all that, another day…

Up above the world

First we had gated ‘colonies’ in cities like Delhi. We also had ‘enclaves’ – the meaning of an enclave is: “an area controlled by a foreign power within a sovereign state”. A nice example of an enclave is diplomatic enclaves – like Chanakyapuri in Delhi – where Indian law does not apply. If they commit crimes, you need to get permission from foreign powers to prosecute them; or you can at best repatriate them. ‘Enclaves’ other than diplomatic were very popular in the later half of the 20th centurty.

Then came ‘gated communities’ within cities across the country; they only allow the ‘istriwallah’ into their ‘communities’, because people are too lazy to do their laundry or too busy money-laundering! And now, the aliens are here. They are down to earth from ‘up above the world’.

The Aliens group took two full pages in the Times of India. It is up above the world. Oh, I must digress here…

Way back in 1999 – 2001 when I was in Singapore, I was living in a flat on the 18th floor of a 25-story apartment block. One of the lifts was under repair. One of my flat-mates had his parents over once; they came for a vacation. One morning they went out and in the evening when they came back, the other lift broke down. One old grandmother, one fat mother, and a fairly healthy father, luckily, had to walk up the steps – 18 stories! Gott in Himmel, how they suffered that day….

And now people are building 35-story buildings in Hyderabad. The following problems may crop up:

- power systems, even if they are under the control of the developers – can break down
- non-cooperation from domestic maids can occur
- people can throw stones at these glass facades
- there may be bomb-attacks from desperados (pro-T or Anti-T; pro-this or Anti-that
- resentment from other ‘communities’ around them can lead to social boycott
- water supply may be stopped by any municipal clerk who resents the invasion of the aliens into Hyderabad.
- the lifts can be jammed mechanically and you can get trapped, without oxygen, for several hours

Tasmat jagrata…

The extra terrestrials better go back to where they came from. Like ET, phone, home – they should call their ‘base stations’ and leave the space stations.

Their celebrations will be marred by protests; their daily lives will be made miserable; the roads leading to their ‘space stations’ could be dug up. Their cars may be attacked. The entire space station may be bombed. This is India, anything can happen.

Aliens, indeed! We don’t want you among us…

Christ said: Blessed are the meek – for they shall inherit the earth. I added: when the mighty migrate to Mars. Now the aliens are coming here to colonize the earth. People shall repel them. They will beat them back to where they came from – America, Australia, Bermuda, Britain, or Canada.

Get lost, aliens! We don’t want you here. One day, these aliens will be bombed. You will live in constant fear or stay away from these wonderful ‘schemes’. You can’t get down to earth and stay as aliens here: choose one way or the other.

Gachchibowli and Tellapur are not for you. Go to Mars or at least moon. There is no space on earth (definitely not in India) for Alien Space Stations. Stay clear of this project, is what Bottomline advises to prospective ‘dream-flat owners’ of the Alien Space Station.

If something untoward happens, you cannot say that you haven’t been warned…

I personally declare a war of words against these aliens and their space stations.